


Who is that face looking back at me?

by OliveBranch_10



Category: Makai Ouji: Devils and Realist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Trans, Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Sad Ending, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, trans!William
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 18:15:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10519164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveBranch_10/pseuds/OliveBranch_10
Summary: He was born a Wilhelma, but he would die a William.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Idk i love trans!william but hate the fic :(

His parents named him Wilhelma, based on the name William. His father wanted a son so badly they never even thought about having a daughter. Even though his father never saw him become William, he was sure that the man would’ve accepted him as a son.

He was born a Wilhelma, but he would die a William.

Uncle Barton doesn’t really care when the eight year old demanded to be addressed as a boy from that day on. His uncle merely started talking about the Roman Empire and Nero and a pope that was a cross dresser. William never tells anyone about how he cried for weeks under his bed because he feared for rejection.

He became an official boy within the household that day. Kevin calls him ‘young master’ and William hugs him. Within the safe border of their estate he will be himself.

He doesn’t want to think about the battles he has to fight for acceptance, some he’ll never win and others hurt too much to think about. He knows they call him odd and some even call him queer. He takes pride in it. He’d rather be his odd self than this being that doesn’t fit.

-

Despite everything he gets into Stratford. A combination of good heritage, money and a ‘mind like that shouldn’t go to waste.’ Kevin makes sure that he gets his favourite meal that day.

Rather than leaving others to their imagination, he decides to take the stage. Nose pointed high and shoulders squared he tells them about science and mind and mistakes. Some accept it, others needed more convincing, he doesn’t care about them Swallow and Isaac got him covered. Even if his hands shake when someone hisses girl to him he holds his head high. He is of noble blood, he is William Twinning and no amount of heartbreak can destroy him.

-

His life gets turned upside down when some so called ‘demons’ start bothering him, honestly he doesn’t have time for this.

They bother him, make people look at him (he has no need for negative attention, he gets enough of that on his own.)

-

He secretly likes them because they don’t ask questions, he sees them sometimes in their eyes but they never ask. He’s grateful that they see him as the man he is.

Despite them ruining his life they make him discover a much broader world. It warms him inside knowing that there are others like him, when Sytry tells them he ignores William’s shaking and just keeps telling him about the elves.

Dantalion keeps pressuring to play sports and all he wants is to join him. He can’t. He’ll never run freely yet the duke doesn’t get that, that is until he pulls William out of his bed one night and without peeking eyes teaches him how to throw a ball the right way. The nervous knot in his stomach eases, the fear of not being enough (not being manly enough) fades. In its place a warm feeling, a manly slap on his shoulder and some roughhousing later make him walk on clouds for days. Dantalion never accepts his thanks, merely shrugs his shoulder, winks and mutters something about doing this with all his friends.

He will always think highly of Camio. The head boy who despite everything, every filthy rumour or story protected William’s honour and defended him as he would defend all students. William is aware that being treated the same isn’t a privilege for those who know no better but for him it is. It is because it makes him feel normal, and to feel normal is a privilege in it’s own way.

-

When the gates of hell drag him down he doesn’t know what to expect.

He doesn’t expect to leave it with a male body.

-

It goes a bit like this; Solomon possesses him through the ring. His ancestor breathes and William vanishes. He doesn’t see, feel or know. All he is is Solomon.

His ancestor doesn’t seem pleased with the body he has taken hold of and changes it into whatever it is he desires.

 

When William wakes up and he no longer feels in control.

-

He constantly doubts himself now. Was everything a dream now? No one seems to remember the others and no one seems to remember William being born with a wrong body. Everyone seems to think he lost it instead of the other way around.

At night he tries to stop the tremors, ignores the suffocating feeling in his chest and repeats his doubts.

Who is he? Is he William Twinning? Or did he only become William because of Solomon? Is he Wilhelma? He wishes for his mother, his father and answers that no one can offer him.

No one can offer him absolution.


End file.
